certain things never cease to amaze me. [it’s true that i haven’t posted for two months, which is the longest amount of time in nearly five years that i have not written something and i felt the coldness creeping in… so it was about time.]
of all the things that just come naturally to me, there are three that i hope never change. first, i pray that i never lose my academic knowledge. in fact i have been contemplating continuing my studies.
i say this because the other day a friend of mine whose knowledge is also extensive commented on a particular word choice of mine by using the word out of context. my quick response was that if he wished to discuss deconstructive theory at a different time i would be open to that.
second, the amount of insight i have into films of all genres, but mostly of quality direction, production and art - i hope it continues to grow. nothing brings a glow to my heart quite like someone naming a director and being able to name the films he’s done… or vice versa. nor does anything taste quite like an aptly chosen quote. and lastly, but most importantly, i trust that i will never be able to stop myself from using my solid background in theology to comment on those around me.
not to make hypocritical, or demeaning or holier-than-thou comments. ish. never.
but to just interject with ones i believe make sense.
the other day a friend mentioned that he felt that he needed to go to confession.
i wasn’t brought up catholic, but i am aware of the practices of the church. “why go to confession?” i asked.
“i just have done some things i feel bad about.”
“why not just pray?”
he looked at me quizzically.
i simply stated two things. one - Catholics believe that the pope is god’s representative on earth, and accordingly that those in church hierarchy [bishops, priests] are channels to God. Christians, however, believe that with Christ’s sacrifice of death on the cross, he did away with the separation that sin gave us from God. In that way, we no longer have to go through a man - we can speak directly with Him.
“I never thought of it like that. That makes sense.” He nodded in understanding and affirmation.
I walked away and suddenly it occurred to me that i hadn’t even thought about what i said. it just came out of me. i didn’t mean to make any sort of theological statement. i just said what i know. what is written on the inside of my mind and flows through my soul. it often bothers me when i hear people refer to christians in a negative way. mostly because i know too well that the people they think of as christians are people i think should go straight to hell.
because hell to me is a real and very frightening place.
it’s not where some people think they are going to party or see friends. no. no. i don’t know how to comment on all of that really.
because every day for me is a constant struggle.
to be real, genuine, honest.
to live my faith.
to be hope.